Proof That I’m Not Illiterate

July 14, 2009 – 1:54 pm

I love books. Books are like oxygen to me. (Why yes, I DO have a flair for the dramatic!) Particularly audiobooks. I go a little nuts if I don’t have an audiobook playing in the car at all times. But I also READ as well, just not as many books as I listen to. I thought I’d share two of my favorite authors with you.

Favorite author #1: Marshall Karp. His Lomax and Biggs murder mystery series is to die for. (Get it? Murder? To die for? I kill me. HA! There I go again!) “Blending the gritty realism of a Joseph Wambaugh police procedural with the sardonic humor of Janet Evanovich, Karp delivers a treat that’s not only laugh-out-loud funny but also remarkably suspenseful.” — Publisher’s Weekly (I have no idea who Joseph Wambaugh is. I was just too lazy to come up with a description of my own, so I stole this from Amazon.)

Start off with The Rabbit Factory, the first in the series. It’s a bit long, but you really get to know and love the characters so much in this one. And by the time you get to the other two, you feel like you’ve known them for years. Marshall Karp may disagree with me and say to read Flipping Out first, since it’s his latest work, and perhaps he thinks it’s better. But guess what? Marshall Karp isn’t my dad, and is not the boss of me.

THIS is my Dad, and even he isn’t the boss of me:

Yep, that's my dad with 50, yes 50, grapes in his mouth and one eye crossed.

Yep, that's my dad with 50, yes 50, grapes in his mouth and one eye crossed.

Because clearly he’s in a mental institution. (My Dad, not Marshall Karp.) OK, I’m lying.  He lives in Boca, golfs every day and mows the lawn in black socks and shorts with suspenders. Not really.

Also, I HIGHLY recommend listening to the Lomax and Biggs series on audio. The reader is wonderful, giving each character his/her own voice that turns out extremely believable. And don’t miss Bloodthirsty, the second in the series. It’s particularly wicked, in a good way. Oh, and stop by his website, where you can read his blog, learn all about the characters, order books, etc. (I’m a regular stalker of the blog.)

Favorite Author #2: Christopher Moore. His books are absolutely hilarious, especially if you like the bizarre and outrageous. He’s written books on so many topics: whales, vampires, Jesus, King Lear, Death (like, the person, or entity, or whatever), gigantic lizards, and more!

I’ve read all of his books, and each one is a masterpiece in itself, but one of my absolute favorites is You Suck: A Love Story. But if you’re going to get this one, you MUST get the audiobook, if only for the character of Abby Normal, a 16-year-old goth (yet sometimes perky) girl. Trust me on this one, Abby Normal is so much better on audio than you could ever come up with using your own imagination. Seriously, if you don’t get it on audio, you’re dead to me. You can also check our Chris’ website, which is full of all kinds of wacky stuff.

So, those are my top two. I have more, which I’ll share at a later date. Otherwise this post would get really, really long. And since I don’t have any Marshall or Chris to read/listen to at the moment, I’m currently listening to Anybody Out There? by Marian Keyes, right on the heels of This Charming Man by the same author. I’m really loving her! And one that I’m actually reading (you know, with my eyes) is Mental by Eddie Sarfaty. It’s pretty funny, but not a top pick for the homophobic. Just so you know.

So, it’s your turn. What are YOUR favorite books?

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Stuff I Like | Comments (14)

Happy Birthday ElectraWoman!

July 10, 2009 – 9:50 am

It was my first day of kindergarten, back in September of 1973. I was starting a few weeks later than the rest of the students, because my family had moved right after school had begun. I was very nervous, not only because it was the start of my school career, but also because I was “the new kid”.

The first person I noticed was a pretty little girl in a red dress. She was quite exotic looking, with her rich dark hair and tanned skin. She encouraged me to play with her, and from that moment, we were best friends.

We had such a strong kinship, sharing a love of performing and role playing, whether it be putting on variety shows in the front yard, recording radio programs (KLUV) complete with Pizza Butt commercials, or fighting crime with our alter egos ElectraWoman and DynaGirl. (She was EW and I was DG.)

It would be more accurate if their hair color was switched

It would be more accurate if their hair color was switched

One of our most favorite activities was going to the pool, which was right across the street from her house. We’d stand in line at 9:30 every single morning of the summer, waiting for it to open. We’d swim until around noon, go have lunch at her house, and go back for the afternoon.

Hello, skin cancer!

Hello, skin cancer!

When we were around 10, we started dance lessons together. Talk about the perfect outlet for our need to perform!

Wonder Twin powers, activate!

Wonder Twin powers, activate!

But the dance lessons did much more than feed our need to perform. You see, both of our sets of parents had divorced right around the same time. I lived with my mom, and she lived with her dad. My mom would take us to dance lessons, and her dad would pick us up. We always managed to convince him to take us out for pizza afterwards. He was a sucker for our charm, even though we embarrassed him constantly by singing and dancing to The Village People right in front of the jukebox, wearing our dance leotards, skirts and roller skates! (Oh, how I WISH I had a picture of that.)

But one day, her father invited my mother to join us for pizza, and she accepted. This was the beginning of a wonderful romance, and they were married two years later. My best friend had become my sister!

We remained best friends throughout junior high and high school. And even though we went to separate colleges and became wildly different people, we still remain best friends today. She really is ElectraWoman – strong, confident, smart and beautiful, all rolled into one. And today is her birthday.

Happy Birthday, ElectraWoman. You’ll always be my best friend. I love you!

Now, everyone enjoy this special video that sums up my feelings for her.

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Family Fun | Comments (7)

My God!

July 9, 2009 – 12:11 pm

Religion is such a volatile subject that I thought I’d get this post out of the way early on, while I have very few readers. That way, I’ll offend less people.

  • I believe in God.
  • My family did not go to church when I was a child, but we did go to a Methodist church every once in a while when I was a teenager.
  • I do not go to church now, and I don’t belong to any organized religion.
  • I believe that not going to church regularly was one of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave to me, because it allowed me to find my own path.
  • I believe that religions that use the Bible as an excuse for hatred are REALLY missing the point, and this makes me angry. But not so angry that I would, say, bomb a building or anything.
  • I believe that a religion that does not allow a mother and father to witness their own daughter’s wedding simply because they are not members of that religion shouldn’t wonder why people think they’re a cult.
  • I believe that the Constitution, not the Bible, should determine who is fit to marry.
  • I believe that God could care less whether we capitalize “His” name, and I don’t believe that he wants or needs to be worshipped. He’s the perfect being, and has no ego that needs to be stroked.
  • I believe that God has a wicked sense of humor. I mean come on, farts? He wants you to laugh!
  • I believe that God gave us FREE WILL so that we can learn for ourselves the consequences of our actions, good and bad.
  • I believe that The Golden Rule is the ultimate message of God. Treat people the way you want to be treated, with love and respect.
  • I believe that we are ALL connected through God and to God, regardless of our beliefs. Every single person on this planet.
  • I believe that if we all could recognize this, and respect the notion that we’re all just using different methods to get to the same place, that the world would be a much better place.
  • I don’t believe this will happen in my lifetime, but I have hope for future generations.
  • I believe that people spend too much time focusing on how to ensure a spot in Heaven when they die, and not enough time realizing that Heaven’s here on Earth. Right here. Right now.
  •  I believe that when we do die, we ALL go to Heaven. Everyone. Regardless of our religion, crimes we’ve committed, whether or not we’ve been baptized or saved, or whether or not we’re one of the “chosen ones”.
  • And finally I believe, no actually I know, that no one knows for sure what The Truth is. No one, except God.

But hey, that’s just me.

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Deep Thoughts | Comments (15)

Road Trip!

July 2, 2009 – 11:46 am

Tomorrow, Nature Boy and I are going on a road trip with my two sons, Smart Aleck and Surfer Boy. It’s about a 6-1/2 to 7 hour trip, which isn’t THAT long, but with those two, it could be an eternity. Especially given their penchant to bug the crap out of each other (and me) in the car. Here’s an example of a recent car ride:

SA & SB: (generally antagonizing each other)

Me: “Stop.”

SA & SB: (more antagonizing)

Me: “STOP!”

SA & SB: (still more antagonizing)

Me: (very loudly, with the wild-eyed crazy look) “Do you REALLY want to see me lose my mind????”

SA: “Sort of.”

Me: …

 

So, you see what I’m dealing with! To combat this, I am bringing along the following:

  • Portable DVD player with two screens that mount on the back of each headrest.
  • Our family-friendly DVD collection (at least 30)
  • MORE family-friendly DVDs that I’m going to rent at Blockbuster today (because “We’ve already seeeeeeeeen all of those!”)
  • Smart Aleck’s Nintendo DS
  • Smart Aleck’s iPod Touch
  • Surfer Boy’s iPod
  • Surfer Boy’s Leapster
  • Books for both of them, including puzzle books
  • Snacks – all healthy, of course (snigger)

And if none of those work, I’m breaking out the Benadryl. For all of us. (Except Nature Boy, our fearless driver.)

Feel free to leave any other suggestions in the comments! Hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th!!!

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Family Fun | Comments (7)

Don’t Leave The Light On

June 25, 2009 – 2:17 pm

On Tuesday night, Nature Boy and I were driving home around 11 pm after a little league baseball game. As we were driving down the main road that leads to our neighborhood, I noticed that the small ceiling fan store had a display ceiling fan spinning in the window. Of course the place was closed, as were all of the shops along the road. “What a waste of energy!” I said to Nature Boy. He concurred, being the more financially and ecologically responsible one of our duo.

Upon further inspection, it seemed ALL of the stores had either illuminated signs on the stores themselves or stand-alone signs closer to the curb. Each of these signs was blazing at 11:00 at night, and none of the stores were open. My question is WHY? Why do these companies waste so much electricity by keeping their signs lit when they’re closed?

Am I missing something? There are plenty of streetlights to keep the road visible. Is this purely for marketing? If so, what’s the genius behind that? “Look, people! Best Buy! Target! WalMart!Blockbuster! What? You want to buy something? Sorry, they’re all closed.”

Since we were children, haven’t we all been taught to turn off the lights when we’re not using them? Has it not been drilled into our heads, especially now, during the economic downturn and the global energy crisis, that we need to CONSERVE ENERGY?

I find these retail establishments to be economically and ecologically irresponsible, in a time when we ALL should be doing our part to make a difference. Imagine the amount of electricity that would be saved if all of these stores would shut off the damn lights already.

Off my soapbox now. And if there’s some LOGICAL reason for these lights to be on, then I’ll simply quote the little old lady (played by Gilda Radner) on SNL’s Weekend Update and say, “Never mind.”

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Deep Thoughts, Eco Friendly | Comments (4)

An Anniversary – Part 3

June 22, 2009 – 11:30 am

Part 1 and Part 2

After the magical midnight make-out session, I figured I had a romantic relationship with Nature Boy in the bag. But back at work, he retreated to his cautious “we really shouldn’t be doing this” attitude. Not only did he have a problem with having a relationship one of his direct reports, but he also was concerned that my divorce wasn’t yet final. 

We exchanged many emails and letters about this, and had some short conversations in his office. But we never really got to sit down in a private setting and just talk about it openly. So, I suggested that we go out for dinner to discuss it. Reluctantly, he agreed.

I had deemed this “The Breakup Dinner” before it had even started. This was when he was officially going to give me the boot. And I wasn’t going to stop him. Because did I really want to have to skulk around and hide my relationship? No, I wanted to be able to tell the whole world how I felt about him. So, I went into this “date” with apprehension and a twinge of sadness.

We arrived at the restaurant during a 2-for-1 happy hour, so we ordered beer, expecting to get one for each of us. I’m not much of a drinker, so one would be plenty to calm my nerves. When the waitress brought FOUR beers, we just laughed it off. As we drank our beer and ate our dinner, we talked about religion, politics, our children, and all the usual stuff. The more I found out about him, the more I liked him. Too bad he was going to dump me.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he really enjoyed kissing me that night at the bar, and how he’d really like to kiss me some more. (Thank you, happy hour). “CHECK PLEASE!”

The night ended pretty much the same way as the night at the bar. Lots of mind-blowing kissing and…(none of your business).

Then it was back to work. Again. This time, I knew I had to do something to try and prevent Nature Boy’s certain relapse into listening to that damn angel on his shoulder telling him to be cautious. So I came up with The Plan. I wrote him a letter, telling him that we could compromise. We would go out to dinner once a week until my divorce was final, so we could get to know each other better until he felt more comfortable about the situation.

He wrote me back with a counter-plan, which was that we would enact my plan AFTER my divorce was final. After reading his letter, I walked into his office and closed the door. I told him, teary-eyed, that we could do it his way. That I was willing to wait for him, for however long it took for him to be ready. He was pleased, and said, “OK, we’ll go with my plan. But before we do, can we have just one more date — at your place?” HA! I could practically see the devil on his other shoulder dancing with joy, just as I was.

“The Last Date Before The Implementation Of The Plan” was the Friday after Thanksgiving. We were both so excited that he ended up coming over around 4:00, because we just couldn’t wait any longer. We greeted each other at the door with a big hug. I dazzled him with my ability to put a take-and-bake pizza in the oven for the right amount of time, and he brought the beer. It didn’t take long for things to take a certain turn. I mean, come on. We were all alone in my house, with no one to hide from. Eventually we ended up in my bedroom, and you can imagine the rest.

A bit later, he looked at me very seriously and said, “I have something I need to tell you.” (Oh God, what NOW???)

He looked straight into my eyes and said, “I love you.”

To which I wholeheartedly replied, “I love you too.”

 

Epilogue:
We threw all of The Plans out the window, and started dating, spending as much time together as possible. We kept it a secret at work until I could find a new job. After work, we’d meet in a church parking lot (I know, we’re going to hell) to smooch before going home to our respective houses. I met his kids, and he met mine. I finally found a new job in March, and we came out of the closet to our co-workers. They were all shocked, and had no idea that we’d been dating secretly for almost six months.

Nature Boy proposed in December of 2006, in the infamous church parking lot, and we were married in September of 2007.  It’s been a wild ride so far, and of course we’ve had our share of ups and downs. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. We have a wonderful blended family, and our kids get along swimmingly.

During the many months of my pursuit I learned a few things:

1. If you want something, go after it. Don’t wait for it to come to you.
2. Patience is a virtue.
3. True love is worth the wait.

The End (for now). I know this has been a long story, but I really wrote it for two people, Nature Boy and me. So I wanted to get it just right, even if it was like War and Peace.  Thanks to everyone that’s stuck with it, which is such a nice bonus!!!

Dear Nature Boy,
Guess what? I started a blog! You’ve always encouraged me to write “our story” so we wouldn’t ever forget, and so I did, for the whole world to read, if they so choose. I know this makes you all squirmy inside, because you don’t like having a presence on the Internet. But to respect the privacy of all of our family, I’m writing this blog anonymously. I’ve been nervous about showing this to you, but I thought this story would be the perfect way to tell you. I hope you love it. You are my soul-mate, always and forever.

I love you,
Me

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Nature Boy | Comments (10)

An Anniversary – Part 2

June 20, 2009 – 3:18 pm

Part 1 can be found here.

After the severe smackdown my pride had received from Nature Boy’s lack of reciprocation, I nursed my wounds for a short while, then began the task of making him love me. (There were no dead rabbits in stew pots involved, OK? Sheesh, you people watch too many movies.)

I continued the flirtatious emails, and he continued to respond favorably, but he remained cautious. I, on the other hand, took the “throw caution to the wind!” stance. One day, opportunity reared its beautiful head. (I’m imagining a kick-ass white tiger right now.)  Some vendors were taking a few of us out for happy hour that night, and I asked Nature-Boy if he was going. He told me that he was going out with some different vendors. So, I looked up his cell phone number from the emergency contact list, and wrote it down, hoping to be able to use it later.

Later that night, after I’d had some liquid courage, I called Nature Boy, and insisted suggested that his group join us at the bar where we were. He told me, “Maybe, I’ll see what the other guys want to do.” My God, this was like pulling teeth.

But to my surprise, about ten minutes later, the other group arrived, including Nature Boy. I was ecstatic, but remained cool. I had to keep up the pretense that we were nothing but co-workers. Which at that point was true, but that would soon change (nice foreshadowing, eh?).  I chatted with Nature Boy and some of the others for a while, but it was getting late, I was tired, and one of the few females left. So I announced that I was leaving, and Nature Boy said, “I’ll walk you out.”

HOLD THE PHONE! He was going to walk me out? Now we were getting somewhere.

We walked to my car, and chatted nervously for a few minutes. He finally said, “I’d really like to kiss you.” And I coyly responded with, “So why don’t you?” And we both moved in for THE KISS.

*Cue angels singing, fireworks exploding, cymbals crashing, etc.*

Oh. My. God. Best kiss ever! The fact that it lasted for 10 minutes or so proved that neither one of us had any intentions of stopping. I won’t go into any gory details, but suffice it to say I was weak in the knees, and use your imagination for the rest.

Knowing it was late and that we had to work in the morning (how weird was THAT going to be?), we begrudgingly parted ways and went home for the night. But I was so high on adrenaline, not only from the kiss but from the knowledge that this was it. I had him!!

Or so I thought.

Stay tuned for Part 3!

UPDATE: Part 3 The Finale is here.

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Nature Boy | Comments (5)

An Anniversary – Part 1

June 18, 2009 – 3:38 pm

Four years ago (June 21st, 2005), I first met Nature Boy – during a job interview. As he interviewed me, I thought, “Wow, he’s really handsome, and look, no ring. Hmmmm.” The topic of kids came up, and I let him know that I didn’t want a job that required a lot of overtime, because I had two small children. He, in turn, told me that he had three kids at home and completely understood, that family should always come first. Again the gears in my mind were whirring, “Three kids and no ring? Why, that poor man must be a widow! And he’s so quiet and kind of shy. He must really need someone to comfort him.”

I am pleased to say that I held my composure and remained professional as we completed the interview. A couple of days later I got the call offering me the job. Nature Boy was going to be my new boss.

My first day was July 11th, and as one of my new co-workers was showing me around, we came to a wall with a bunch of beautiful paintings hanging on it. “Nature Boy did these,” my co-worker said. “You mean Nature Boy, my boss?” I asked, shocked. These paintings were absolutely gorgeous. I was shocked that my seemingly “corporate” boss had created something so extraordinary. At that moment, I knew that he would be mine. Oh yes. He would be mine. Mwuahahahahahaha!

I slowly learned more about him, bit by bit. I found out that he’d been divorced for a few years, not a widow as I’d imagined. Whatever, I could work with that. He’d been with the company for over 15 years,  starting out as a graphic designer, but then moved into management.

I’m not ashamed to say that I pursued him. I didn’t care that he was my boss. I just knew that I had to go for it, or I would always regret it. I started out with a subtle, flirty email here and there, which continued on for a couple of months. One day we were discussing (still via email) his trouble finding good women to date, and I sent this zinger: “Sometimes the right woman is right in front of you, and you don’t even notice.” He immediately replied, “Are you flirting with me?”, to which I replied in the affirmative, and he then asked, “Do we need to talk about this?”

So, with my heart in my hand, or on my sleeve, or wherever, I went into his office, shut the door and stammered out how I had feelings for him, feelings that were not all about wanting jumping his bones, although I did want to jump his bones, but that it was more than that.  (And yes, I actually did use that phraseology. Sigh.) So I sat there expectantly, waiting for him to tell me he felt the same. Instead, he SHUT ME DOWN, going on about him being my boss, that it was inappropriate, we could get into lots of trouble, blah, blah, blah.

Recovering quickly from the shock and humiliation, I told him, sincerely, that we could be “just friends”, but that we were going to be more than just boss/subordinate. I knew, without a doubt, that we were meant to be in each other’s lives. I just had to convince him of that.

And so, it was on like Donkey Kong.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

UPDATE: Part 2 can be found here!

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Nature Boy | Comments (8)

About Me And The Voices

June 17, 2009 – 2:03 pm

Me: I’m a 41-year-old married working mother of two boys and three step-kids (see below).  I am a big dork, and will do just about anything to get a laugh. I try to remain positive as much as possible, which is why I don’t watch the news. My family is the most important part of my life, and I love them all so much, even if they don’t laugh at my jokes, or are embarrassed by me (jerks!). Also, I’m a liberal.

The Voices:First of all there are the ones in my head that drive me crazy when I’m trying to go to sleep. Usually they don’t even make sense, just a bunch of jibber jabber or lyrics to a song repeating over and over. I don’t know who these people are, but they need to chill out. Perhaps I need an exorcism. Next, there are the voices that I use in daily life. For instance, I cannot see any type of animal on TV without inserting my own dialogue for that animal, in whatever voice I choose for it. Hubby thinks I missed my calling as a cartoon voice-over person. (I never got the call, however). Then there are the various accents that I use to amuse myself and annoy my children.  There are lots of them, like British (many different forms of this one), Indian, New Jersey, Southern, Redneck, and many more. The ones I haven’t yet perfected are Irish and Scottish.

But the most important voices are the ones of my family. Instead of just using their initials (which is totally boring and confusing), I’ve decided to give them names and tell you a little bit about them.

Nature Boy is my husband. I was going to call him Nature Man, but that made him sound like a nudist. He’s the love of my life, my soul-mate. A wonderful artist and a true tree-hugger, he’s taught me so much about living a life that’s better for not only ourselves, but for the environment as well. He’s a very private person, so I won’t be giving up too much information about him :)

Smart-Aleck is my 12-year-old son, my first-born. He’s getting to the age where he loves making fun of me, and has started to develop a quick wit. I secretly love this about him. Plus he is VERY smart. He is a superstar at baseball and recently joined the swim team, where he is proving to be quite a formidable foe. So, his name is a term of endearment, not an insult.

Surfer Boy is my 6-year-old son. I call him this because he’s a blonde-haired, blue-eyed little guy who embraces life with such a happy-go-lucky attitude. He is a true renaissance man, excelling in baseball and swimming (like his big brother), and yet loves to dance, draw, read, etc. (But he doesn’t surf. Yet.) He just finished kindergarten, where he was one of the top students in his class.

Blondie is my 25-year-old stepdaughter. Beautiful on the inside and the outside,  she’s very outgoing and unconventional. She’s extremely creative like her father, and loves to make things herself, from food to greeting cards. She’s getting married on June 27th to a wonderful guy that we all love. (I’ll have to come up with a name for him.) We’re hoping she finishes college sometime soon.

Rosie is my 18-year-old stepdaughter, who is just as beautiful as her sister. She is a social butterfly and a bit of a drama queen. She’ll be going to college in the fall, and hopefully will be taking all of her clothes with her. (We can’t see her floor anymore.) Bubbly and a tad ditzy at times, she always makes us laugh (unless she hasn’t done her laundry in a month).

Strong Silent Guy is my 15-year-old stepson. He’s quiet and shy like his dad, but if you can get him to talk, he’s quite funny and outgoing. But only when he wants to be. He is an awesome wrestler and is in the marching band. Smart as a whip, and handsome to boot. Oh, and he likes guns. *shudder*

That’s the family! We also have other characters like Sports Dad (my ex and father of my sons), Jo (Nature Boy’s ex and the mother of his kids), and Mr. Positive (Jo’s husband). We all get along frighteningly well, which is the way I wish it could be for everyone.

So there you have it,  me and the voices in a nutshell. I’ll add more as they pop up!

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Introductions | Comments (5)

Godspeed, Little One

June 11, 2009 – 11:13 am

I have a heavy heart today. Last night, I had to say goodbye to her:

Venturing Out

Her name is Coco, and she is an 8-week-old raccoon baby. Here is our story.

For several months, I’d been bugging my husband about getting a puppy. Remember the Shiba Inu puppy webcam? I was obsessed with those little furballs. They made me want something fuzzy and cuddly to play with. But we knew how much work would be involved in taking care of a puppy, and neither one of us wanted to commit to that. But still, my heart yearned to nurture something. My sons are 12 and 6, and are pretty much past the cuddly stage. They’re all about sports, video games, swimming and bike riding, not snuggling up on the couch with Mom.

But one sunny Saturday morning in April, God felt my need and sent me a present. My husband was out on our deck working on some gardening, and the kids and I were inside playing with Legos. Hubby opened the door and whispered, “Come out here and see this!” Since our house backs up to a wooded area and creek, we’re used to seeing all kinds of wildlife in our backyard. We obliged, and he pointed up to one of the tall trees. “There’s a mama raccoon up there in a nest.” And indeed, he was right. We had no idea that raccoons build nests in trees, but they do! We watched for a few minutes and went back inside.

About five minutes later, hubby opened the door again and said, “Look, a baby raccoon!” In his hand was a tiny, dark animal about the size of my hand. He had heard her cries and went to the tree to investigate. At the base of the tree he found this tiny baby, only a couple of days old, not much fur, with her eyes still closed.

Baby2

 This was taken about a week later, but you get the idea.

Thank God my husband, an avid conservationist, had raised many a wild orphaned baby in his youth. He had a book about how to care for orphaned wild animals, and I also checked our local wildlife rescue center’s website as to what to do with this little one. (Of course, the wildlife center was closed, so we couldn’t call anyone.) The website instructed us to keep her warm in a box until dusk, and then to put her back under the tree so mama could come down and fetch her. So that’s what we did. A couple minutes later, hubby went outside to check on her, and saw a huge owl in one of the other trees, his sights set directly on the little one. Her cries had caught his attention, and he wasn’t going anywhere until he got his snack. Hubby tried to scare him away, but it was no use. Obviously we weren’t going to leave her out there to get killed, so we brought her back inside.

Even though I had the aforementioned yearning to take care of a little fuzzball, the thought of having to bottle feed this thing EVERY TWO HOURS (that’s what the book said), was a tad much for me. Thankfully, my stepson D agreed to do it for the night, until we could get to the wildlife rescue center in the morning. We bought some kitten formula and a tiny little bottle, and I took D over to his mom’s house.

Long story short, none of the rescue centers had any room for her, so hubby’s ex-wife and her husband (S and F) took on the job of her daily care and feeding (D had tired of it quickly). They took care of her for a few weeks, and we’d go visit her periodically. Her eyes opened at about 3 weeks, and she was growing like a weed. One weekend, they asked us to babysit while they were out of town. I excitedly agreed. I went out and bought toys, a litter box (I’d read you could litter train them), stuffed animals, a bottle, etc.

After spending two days with her, I called S and asked, “Did you REALLY think that you could leave her with me and actually get her back?” In those two short days, I’d fallen for her. Hard. She was the sweetest little animal I’d ever been around. She loved to be held and would often cuddle up and fall asleep on my shoulder. I was in heaven. S just laughed and told me she knew that would happen. She understood that while she and F liked her and enjoyed her, that I LOVED her. So I took over as caretaker.

In the middle of all this, I got an email from a woman at the wildlife rehab clinic saying that one of their baby raccoons had died, and that they now had a space for her. My initial thought was “Noooooooooo!” But I knew that we couldn’t keep her as a forever pet. She’s a wild animal and she needs to be in the wild. I knew they would teach her how to be a raccoon, get her in a group with others her age, and release her with that group. The success rate of those who are released in a group is much higher than for those released alone. But really, how on earth was I going to be able to say goodbye to this face?

Sweetest Face

Luckily I was able to keep her for a couple more weeks while they found a foster parent to take care of her until she could get the necessary shots and worming. I couldn’t be her foster parent because it’s actually illegal to keep raccoons in my state, unless you have a license. 

So I spent our last weeks together giving her as much love and attention as I possibly could. I watched her progress from barely being able to walk to running and climbing the stairs. She was so sweet, and loved everybody. But of course she loved me best. She was mine and I was hers. She had this wonderful smell, sweet like honey. She loved burying her wet little nose in my ear, gnawing on my knuckles,  and styling my hair with her wonderfully dexterous hands. We were like peas and carrots.

Yesterday we took her to the wildlife rehab clinic to drop her off and say our farewells. She will be fostered by a volunteer who also has a male baby raccoon. So she’ll have an instant brother and potential suitor. Once she gets her shots, she’ll go live at the clinic, where she’ll meet the rest of her group and learn how to live in the wild. We’ll be able to visit her periodically, and we will also be present at her release in late August or September.

I’m very sad and emotional today, but I know I’ve done the right thing, the best thing for her.

Take care, little Coco. Thank you for letting me be your Mama for a while. You’ll always be in my heart.

Bittersweet

By justmeandthevoices | Posted in Coco, Furry Things | Comments (13)
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